LOVE and LUPUS

Wow! It's been such a long time since I wrote on this Blog.  My best friend Liesel was yelling at me for not keeping up with this blog.  Well not a lot has happened since the last time, except..........I HAVE A BOY FRIEND!!!!!! Yes and we have been going strong for going on six month's! woo whoooo!

Do you want me to tell you the details...No? Well your going to listen anyways.  We went to high school together.  So we reconnected through facebook and I got his BBM ( Blackberry stuff) so we chatted a little bit and he posted as his bbm status that he's going to a bbq.  I replied "I'M COMING!!!" (That's just me I just bull doze my way into things sometimes, I blame the prednisone).  So we met up again and I found out he was a great guy and he is still a great guy!....He's my shmookumsborg I am his pookietron...sigh....ahem

One thing that really impressed me was that he was interested in me even when I told him I had Lupus, my face looked like it was about to explode because of the prednisone, I was as big as jabba the hut and I was wobbling like a one legged pirate.  Who would want me I thought.  Well he did.  He was there for me during my hip surgery and helped me so much after with the healing process.  He was there for me even when I was in the hospital after I had the stroke (he snuck in swiss rolls ssshhhhhh).  Looking all crazy!!!! At that time we weren't in a relationship!

I never thought that I would have a boyfriend who would understand me as much and would actually want to be with me for a long time.  I have issues, my health is one of the main issues.  Sometimes I felt in the past that I was not worthy of having a good boyfriend because of all the physical things that were going on.  I was fat and wobbly.  Yuck! who would want to be my boyfriend.  So I found other means for security...don't want to go into details about that.  It was only the beginning of last year when I started to feel my worth.  That I was confident in myself and my illness and everything that comes along with it.

Some people, especially women, have low self esteem because of the side effects of Lupus.  I know a lot of women who are depressed.  Girl, SNAP OUT OF THAT!!!! You have to enjoy every last breath of life that you have and be grateful that you are here on earth!!! Don't ever feel you are less beautiful because you face is round, Find a hairstyle that fits your face.  You stomach is getting big, wear clothes that compliment your size. 

One thing I learned is that men love confident women.  I told every guy I dated up front that I have Lupus. Some knew what it was and some didn't.  I just explained what it is.  You don't want to deal get the hell out of my life! I have enough stress. 

Another thing that is important in relationships is.....SEX!!!! Yes the forbidden tango.  Now the main concern for Lupus avengers are immunosupressive drugs and STD's.  Ladies, you are more prone to infection if you don't wear protection.  You will catch every and anything on these drugs, prednisone, myfortic, cellcept, and a whole load of other drugs.  Please wear a condom! Go get tested and cut down on multiple partners.  I think you should only have one but we are all human.  Sometimes it doesn't work out like that.

Pregnancy.  Being pregnant puts a lot of stress on your body.  That's when most of the diseases come out.  Not only is it stressful on your body but also on your psyche.  You have this Lupus disease that you have to worry about to stay alive and then you have to worry about the health of your baby.  My oldest daughter has heart block and requires a pacemaker for the rest of her life.  I would suggest having a planned pregnancy so all the requirements as far as nutrition, medication, and planning about the future with your baby. Although 98% of us are mistakes.

I hope you find someone you love.  Here are some tips for women if you have lupus or if you don't:

- Don't stay with a man who brings you down because of your illness or any side effects connected to your disease or medicines. Kick his butt to the curb and I'll help you do it!

- Don't feel less confident in yourself.  Men love a woman who takes care of herself and believes in herself

- If he isn't doing anything for himself don't do it for him.  This can cause you to be stressed out over his mess.  If he doesn't get his act together I suggest you leave.

-Make sure they understand the pros and cons  of your illness.  Tell him you might be in the hospital or may be too tired or weak to do certain activities.

-WEAR PROTECTION!!!! please get tested, wear a condom, or abstinence......emmmm yeah that works for some.

-Don't blame everything on your disease.  Get out sometimes.  Enjoy a short walk in the park.  Go out to a play do something to get you active so when the times get rough he knows and remembers the good times your guys shared.

- Don't expect a guy in shinning armor.  Most of the great guys don't look like Brad pit, have a body like a NFL player, and have money like a movie star.  Just make sure you are comfortable with the person and not stressed out over nonsense. (baby momma, losing the job all the time, wants to be a rapper, speaking from experience)

I hope this helps you out a little bit in your love life.  I have always be reached at thereallupus@gmail.com.  Love you people!!!!