Sunday, September 25, 2011

I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!!!: The stress of a break up

Well its been *looks at calendar* almost three months and a couple days since I made love to my blog, so Im writing.  A lot of things has happened since my last post.  I quit nursing school for personal reasons and now want to get my Masters and become a science teacher. I was supposed to get an apartment but it didn't come through.Last but not least....my boyfriend broke up with me. Yeah but I got over it.During a breakup emotion can cause stress, stress can cause lupus flares and honey, nobody wants that.  From my experience there are certain ways to prevent heartache.  Of course there is always a mourning period, however, keep moving forward, you have other things to worry about such as.....your illness maybe.

Here are some tips:

1) Cry
Don't hold in your emotions. Crying is a stress reliever. When we are stressed our body is filled with chemicals that affect our mood and feelings. After a good cry our body releases those chemicals through tears and we become more relaxed. Emotional cry releases many protein-based hormones - leucine enkephalin (a natural painkiller) , prolactin and adrenocorticotropic hormone - that reduce our stress.  Not to mention you will have a clear mind after....just don't think about the person again....then you will start crying again and you will be back at square one.

2)Talk
Hey hey hey!!!! Put down that phone don't you dare call your ex! I mean talk to somone that you can confide in and will listen to you.  This is the period when you are most vulnerable.  Calling your ex will just worsen the problem unless you really feel things could work out between the two of you.  There is nothing wrong with giving love a second try unless insecurities start kicking in.  In that case you have to communicate to your partner.

3) Avoiding Junk and Sugary Foods & Consuming MineralsThis is my issue....Junk food.  I eat junk that I hardly ever eat.  Pork rinds, chocolate, chips soda etc.  If you feel stressed or in case you are prone to it, avoid sugary and junk fast foods by exercising or starting an invigorating co-curricular activity such as tennis playing. Make sure you drink plenty of fluids and wear a hat if you do
In order to help our body relax you have to consume enough minerals such as vitamin C and Calcium that can help deal with stress levels. Vitamin C can make one to feel really rejuvenated and invigorated while calcium aids in muscle relaxation.

4) Humor
This saved me through a lot of heartache.  I am a humorous person in general but after a break up it feels so good.  Laughter is a good stress relief technique that works. You probably know how good it feels when you are laughing at a friends joke, funny comedy or a stand up show. With laughter we stretch the tense muscles on our face and release the tension out of out body. We also allow more blood to flow to the pleasure centers of the brain that make us happier. Funny stress relief is a sure winner when we want to reduce stress fast.
Make fun of your ex's snoring, or make fun of the way he talks.  Go out with your friends and just have a blast! Go to or watch a comdey show.  Whatever it is that can make you laugh do it.

5) Masturbation
Yeah, yeah I know some of you are giving me the side eye, but masturbation can relieve a lot of stress.  This might also prevent you from having relations with your ex.  Masturbation releases the same neurochemicals as laughing which are called endorphins, your natural high. 

6) Meditation, Yoga and controlled breathingWoooo-sahhhhhh.  As you probably already know, yoga is an excellent stress relief method. Thanks to practicing yoga, both moving and stationary poses combined with deep breathing are performed. Yoga gives you many advantages. It provides you with physical and mental relaxation and contributes to balanced stress level. Yoga also makes your relaxation response stronger.
Breathe in through your nose slowly and deeply then out through your mouth. When you blow the air out of your lungs you will feel how the tension will flow out of the body. By controlled breathing we provide the body with the right amount of oxygen and normalize our hear beat.

This advice is for anyone at anytime stress is taking over there lives.  If it becomes too much to handle and you have thoughts of harming yourself or others please seek medical attention.  We are all in this together.
Love y'all!!


Source: http://www.mystressmanagement.net/stress-relief-techniques.html

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Going natural!!!!

Wow I really need to start blogging more often.  My last post was in march!!!!

SOOOOO!!!! I was so inspired in May. Ok, so, ahem, hack, cough, spit, ok. So An email was sent to me from Miss Jessie's about "The Big Chop" That was sponsored by "Curly girl collective" (which are a group of bautiful sistah's that are natural) which basically chopping off your permed hair and just going natural. The prize was to get your hair done from Miko and TiTi, the founders of Miss Jessie.  I always apply for things like that (I won tix to fashion week by doing that) and I told them my struggle with lupus and my hair.  That same evening I received an email saying that they have chose me to be one of the candidates.  OOOOOOMMMMMGGGGG!!!!!! I was jumping up and down....and then I stopped because my bad hip told me to. A free hair do from Miss Jessie!!!!!!! This was awsome.
This was me before no perm since 10/10

I have been going natural since October 2010 and since then I have been wearing wigs and weaves.  My hair was growing but I was so afraid to show my hair and I didn't know what the hell to do with it.  I joined a google natural hair group and I found out loads of information.  So I was investigating and got some ideas from facebook.  Miss Jessie was one of them.

This me with Melody at the Cutly girl collective event

This is me promoting Curly girl collective

Anyways, So I got a complimentary hair doo and I felt so good! I was soooo happy.  I so needed this after all the BS I was going through. So I took Pics before and after.  It was a great experience.

Many people with lupus struggle with their hair.  I used to always perm my hair and I felt those chemicals run through my body and even made me feel sick.  My joints started hurting and I just felt an overall weirdness.  It left puss filled scabs on my scalp.  Finally I was fed up and I just stopped perming my hair.  It is OK to cut all of your hair off.  I cut my hair down to a ceaser.  Of course I didnt take any pictures at the time because I felt self concious, but now I would have taken those photo's in a heartbeat!

Us Lupies can have so many issues with our hair.  We bald, we thin out, we develop bald patches, but you know what, your hair is an accessory.  It does not define who you really are.  Love the necessities like your health rather than you hair.  Everybody can't have thousand dollar weaves like beyonce and Ri Ri but we can take pride in who we are we are LUPUS AVENGERS!!!! We are strong  We are fighters.  We must love the lupie within!

This is me now!

Friday, March 18, 2011

WALK FOR LUPUS NOW 2011

Hey dudes and dudettes....sorry I was watching ninja turtles. Did anyone walk for the "walking for a cure for lupus!" YIPPPPEEEEE!!! I did! Ouch my arthritic knee! ok......yipppppppeeee!!!! 

If you have any experiences from the walk that you would like to share please feel free to email me at TheRealLupus@gmail.com

Me and i randomly ran into my poetic friend ron de vu
Love you guys!!!

Saturday, February 26, 2011

LOVE and LUPUS

Wow! It's been such a long time since I wrote on this Blog.  My best friend Liesel was yelling at me for not keeping up with this blog.  Well not a lot has happened since the last time, except..........I HAVE A BOY FRIEND!!!!!! Yes and we have been going strong for going on six month's! woo whoooo!

Do you want me to tell you the details...No? Well your going to listen anyways.  We went to high school together.  So we reconnected through facebook and I got his BBM ( Blackberry stuff) so we chatted a little bit and he posted as his bbm status that he's going to a bbq.  I replied "I'M COMING!!!" (That's just me I just bull doze my way into things sometimes, I blame the prednisone).  So we met up again and I found out he was a great guy and he is still a great guy!....He's my shmookumsborg I am his pookietron...sigh....ahem

One thing that really impressed me was that he was interested in me even when I told him I had Lupus, my face looked like it was about to explode because of the prednisone, I was as big as jabba the hut and I was wobbling like a one legged pirate.  Who would want me I thought.  Well he did.  He was there for me during my hip surgery and helped me so much after with the healing process.  He was there for me even when I was in the hospital after I had the stroke (he snuck in swiss rolls ssshhhhhh).  Looking all crazy!!!! At that time we weren't in a relationship!

I never thought that I would have a boyfriend who would understand me as much and would actually want to be with me for a long time.  I have issues, my health is one of the main issues.  Sometimes I felt in the past that I was not worthy of having a good boyfriend because of all the physical things that were going on.  I was fat and wobbly.  Yuck! who would want to be my boyfriend.  So I found other means for security...don't want to go into details about that.  It was only the beginning of last year when I started to feel my worth.  That I was confident in myself and my illness and everything that comes along with it.

Some people, especially women, have low self esteem because of the side effects of Lupus.  I know a lot of women who are depressed.  Girl, SNAP OUT OF THAT!!!! You have to enjoy every last breath of life that you have and be grateful that you are here on earth!!! Don't ever feel you are less beautiful because you face is round, Find a hairstyle that fits your face.  You stomach is getting big, wear clothes that compliment your size. 

One thing I learned is that men love confident women.  I told every guy I dated up front that I have Lupus. Some knew what it was and some didn't.  I just explained what it is.  You don't want to deal get the hell out of my life! I have enough stress. 

Another thing that is important in relationships is.....SEX!!!! Yes the forbidden tango.  Now the main concern for Lupus avengers are immunosupressive drugs and STD's.  Ladies, you are more prone to infection if you don't wear protection.  You will catch every and anything on these drugs, prednisone, myfortic, cellcept, and a whole load of other drugs.  Please wear a condom! Go get tested and cut down on multiple partners.  I think you should only have one but we are all human.  Sometimes it doesn't work out like that.

Pregnancy.  Being pregnant puts a lot of stress on your body.  That's when most of the diseases come out.  Not only is it stressful on your body but also on your psyche.  You have this Lupus disease that you have to worry about to stay alive and then you have to worry about the health of your baby.  My oldest daughter has heart block and requires a pacemaker for the rest of her life.  I would suggest having a planned pregnancy so all the requirements as far as nutrition, medication, and planning about the future with your baby. Although 98% of us are mistakes.

I hope you find someone you love.  Here are some tips for women if you have lupus or if you don't:

- Don't stay with a man who brings you down because of your illness or any side effects connected to your disease or medicines. Kick his butt to the curb and I'll help you do it!

- Don't feel less confident in yourself.  Men love a woman who takes care of herself and believes in herself

- If he isn't doing anything for himself don't do it for him.  This can cause you to be stressed out over his mess.  If he doesn't get his act together I suggest you leave.

-Make sure they understand the pros and cons  of your illness.  Tell him you might be in the hospital or may be too tired or weak to do certain activities.

-WEAR PROTECTION!!!! please get tested, wear a condom, or abstinence......emmmm yeah that works for some.

-Don't blame everything on your disease.  Get out sometimes.  Enjoy a short walk in the park.  Go out to a play do something to get you active so when the times get rough he knows and remembers the good times your guys shared.

- Don't expect a guy in shinning armor.  Most of the great guys don't look like Brad pit, have a body like a NFL player, and have money like a movie star.  Just make sure you are comfortable with the person and not stressed out over nonsense. (baby momma, losing the job all the time, wants to be a rapper, speaking from experience)

I hope this helps you out a little bit in your love life.  I have always be reached at thereallupus@gmail.com.  Love you people!!!!